What if You’re Withholding
What You Keep Asking For?

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You know how sometimes an idea just keeps showing up? You hear something, then you read something, and then it finds you in the middle of a completely ordinary moment when your mind finally gets quiet enough to actually listen. That's how this one came to me, and once it landed, I couldn't let it go.

The question that kept returning: what if the very thing you've been asking for is something you haven't learned to give yourself yet?

I started unpacking it the way I always do. I held the mirror up to myself first. Take respect — how often are we actually disrespecting ourselves by the way we talk to ourselves, the way we overextend, or the way we flat-out ignore what we know we need? Then trust — how many of us have broken our own word, made a commitment to ourselves, and the moment it got uncomfortable or uncertain, we just dropped it? And love is where it really got me. Where are we being cruel, impatient, dismissive? Where are we tearing ourselves apart instead of extending the same care we give so freely to everyone else?

That's the mirror. And it asks one question: maybe this isn't about them. Maybe it's about me.

So much of the time, the thing we keep reaching for externally is pointing us straight to the work that needs to happen internally. We all have things we're longing for — peace, confidence, direction, connection, love. There's nothing wrong with that. God created us for relationship. We were never meant to navigate this alone, and wanting to feel seen, supported, and valued is just part of being human. But sometimes a longing reveals something. Before we keep searching for another answer or another sign, it might be worth asking what it's trying to show us from the inside.

I've been thinking about confidence differently because of this. Confidence has always been the foundation of this community, but it isn't the starting point. It's a result. It's what grows when you keep a promise to yourself, when you honor your word, when you stop abandoning yourself the moment things get hard or uncertain. You don't wake up one day and decide to be confident — it gets built through every choice you make to show up for yourself, especially when it costs you something.

I know this because I've lived the other version. There were seasons I delayed decisions, convinced myself I needed more clarity, told myself I wasn't ready or qualified or called. Looking back, fear had on a very convincing costume. It dressed itself up as caution, as wisdom, as waiting on God's timing, and all of it kept me still when everything in me already knew what the next step was. I'm still cleaning house from some of that, still taking out the lies and making room for what's actually true.

If you've been waiting for the right moment, the right feeling, the right sign before you move — the confidence you're waiting for is being built through the very actions you keep putting off.

Scripture for the Soul

"Love your neighbor as yourself." — Matthew 22:39

I've read this verse more times than I can count, but something shifted when I really stopped on the second half. As yourself. That's where it got me. How can I truly love others if I don't love myself? There's more in those two words than we usually sit with. Showing up for people, serving them, trusting them — none of it has its full power if we can't do the same for ourselves. We say we live by this verse, but do we actually slow down and taste every word?

This isn't ego. It's stewardship. God entrusted each of us with one life, one body, one mind, one calling, and part of honoring that is learning to care for the person He created you to be.

Points to Ponder

• What are you asking to receive from others that you may need to first give yourself, with honesty, grace, and actual intention?
• What promise have you made to yourself that you've been treating as optional, even though keeping it would help you trust yourself again?
• If you believed you were worthy of the same patience and compassion you extend to everyone else, how would you speak to yourself this week?

Your Next Step

Before you move past this, sit with it a little longer. Insight by itself doesn't change much — it's what we actually do with it that matters.

If there's an area of your life where you've been longing for more peace, confidence, clarity, or direction, consider whether God may be inviting you to participate in that process more actively. Not just to ask for it, but to receive it, and to ask what receiving it well would actually require of you.

Becoming the woman who can sustain what she's been praying for is its own work. It includes rebuilding self-trust, releasing beliefs that stopped serving you a long time ago, and learning to live from the identity God gave you rather than the old patterns that still have too much influence.

That's why I created I Am… Becoming.

It's a 6-week guided devotional experience for women who sense that God is doing something new in their lives and want real support as they grow into it. Together we work through identity, self-trust, confidence, purpose, and the practical process of becoming who He created you to be. The goal isn't perfection — it's alignment. With the truth of who you are and the life you've been called to live.

If that's where you are, I Am… Becoming is here for you.

So, tell me.

What's one thing you've been asking to receive that you may need to begin giving yourself first?

XO,

P.S. If this stirred something, don't rush past it. Sit with the questions, pay attention to what comes up, and be honest with yourself about where God may be inviting you deeper. If you're ready for support as you do that work, I Am… Becoming was created for exactly this. Begin here.

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