When You’re No Longer Who You Were… But Not Yet Who You’re Becoming

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There are seasons when you can feel life shifting underneath your feet long before anything changes on the outside. You can’t explain it. You can’t name it. You just know something in you no longer fits the way it used to.

It’s a strange kind of disorientation—when the version of you the world recognizes doesn’t match the woman you feel yourself becoming. You’re not falling apart, but you’re not fully whole either. You’re somewhere in the middle, shedding layers that once felt familiar while reaching for something you can’t quite see yet.

I’ve been there—more times than I care to admit.

And this week, I realized just how often we walk through these identity transitions without language for what we’re feeling. Without support. Without giving ourselves permission to simply exist in the in-between.

There’s the part of you that wants to cling to what’s familiar because it’s known, safe, predictable. And then there’s the quieter part—the one God whispers to—that knows the old identity can’t come with you into the next chapter. In this season, you’re being called, equipped, and refined in ways you may not fully understand yet.

But that tension—the frustration, the impatience—that part is real.
And it can leave you feeling unsettled, hollow, angry, confused, or even a little lost.

Here’s the truth I’ve had to learn the hard way:
This middle space isn’t a void. It’s a crossing. It’s where God does His deepest rebuilding… not by patching up who you were, but by preparing you for who you’re becoming.

You don’t have to rush it or define it or “figure yourself out” today.
You just have to stay with it long enough for the new identity to take root.

3 Steps to Support Yourself in a Transition Season

1. Acknowledge what no longer fits.
   ​Before you can move forward, you have to be honest about what you’ve outgrown—roles, beliefs, expectations, identities that once served you but no longer align with who you’re becoming. Naming this isn’t disrespectful to your past; it’s honoring your growth.
2. Create margin for reflection instead of forcing clarity.
   ​You don’t need to “decide” your next identity. You need space to hear yourself again. Journaling, pausing, or simply sitting with your own thoughts allows the next version of you to surface naturally.
3. Anchor yourself in what’s true about you—not what feels uncertain.
   ​Feelings shift. Identity does too. But who God says you are remains steady. When everything feels in motion, grounding yourself in truth steadies what’s shaking internally.

3 Points to Ponder

• Where am I holding onto an old identity because it feels safer than releasing it?
• What internal shifts am I experiencing that I haven’t given myself permission to acknowledge?
• What might God be preparing in me that requires this level of transition?

Scripture for the Soul

Isaiah 43:19 — “See, I am doing a new thing… now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

This verse reminds me that God often begins His work long before we recognize it. The new thing doesn’t always arrive with clarity or celebration. Sometimes it begins quietly—through a shift in desire, a change in thinking, or an internal nudge that says, “There’s more for you than this.”

If your identity feels blurred or incomplete right now, trust that the “new thing” is already taking shape beneath the surface. You may not perceive it yet, but that doesn’t mean He isn’t building it.

This Week on The Confident Woman Podcast

E351: When Life Shifts and You Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore

If you’ve been feeling the tension of shedding old identities, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. We talk about the unraveling, the rebuilding, and the quiet internal transformation that happens before anything shifts externally. If you’re in a transition season and struggling to find your footing, this conversation will give language to the in-between.
​→ Listen here​

Ready to Go Deeper?

If this week’s message felt uncomfortably close to home, it’s because you’re standing in that vulnerable space between who you were and who you’re becoming. You don’t have to navigate it alone.

​I Am… Becoming — A 6-week guided identity journey. A safe space to deconstruct old beliefs, reconnect with who you are now, and step forward with clarity instead of confusion. If you’re rebuilding after a major shift—this is for you.
→ Start your I Am… Becoming journey here​

​I Am… Enough Reset — If your transition has left you feeling unsteady or overwhelmed, the Reset is a simple 10-minute practice to clear the noise and come back to yourself when everything feels loud.

Each of these tools was created for this exact season—to help you move through it with intention, clarity, and faith, right where you are.

Words of Encouragement

If your identity feels blurry right now, that’s not a sign you’re falling behind. It’s evidence that something new is forming within you. You don’t have to rush toward the next version of yourself. Becoming takes time. It takes space. It takes honesty. And God isn’t confused about who you are or where you’re going—He’s clarifying it, layer by layer.

So if you’re in that middle space right now, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re not off track. You’re just in the part of the story where things take time. Where you sit with yourself long enough to realize what you can’t carry anymore—and what you can’t ignore anymore.

And if you want a gentle place to start, something simple to help you reconnect with yourself when life feels loud, the I Am Enough Reset is there for you. Not as a fix. Not as an answer. But as a quiet way back to yourself.

As a reminder: Go slow. Give yourself grace. Give yourself space to begin again. You’re not losing yourself. You’re finding your way back.

XO,

​
P.S. If this message spoke to you, share it with another woman who’s navigating her own transition.

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